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| Lokvani Talks To Kumkum Diwali |
Ranjani Saigal
01/15/2014
My mother and I serendipitously share a birthday in both the Roman and Hindu calendars. As I turned 50 on her 80th birth anniversary, I reflected how best to celebrate decades past and future purpose in the same breath. Thanks to my parents, I had experienced the joy of connecting with every generation through music. I realized this gift was not mine to keep, but to share. Many people had requested my recordings over the years, and I had none to give. So when Dr. Nishikant Sonwalkar urged me to create a playlist of favorites that he would produce through the Multicultural Media Magazine in Arlington, Massachusetts, the melodies of Devotion emerged as vocal renditions of poet saints (e.g. Tulsidas, Meerabai).
You are one of the few people in your age group who was born and raised in the US. How did you maintain a balance between the two cultures?
Creating and sustaining that balance required solid samskaar (i.e. core values), academic and musical creativity, and a hearty sense of humor.
Imagine a teenager playing Blowin’ in the Wind on the sitar at a school talent show. An MIT nerd reaching those high notes of the Indian and American National Anthems for Hatch Shell audiences. A young mother playing the tabla as her sons’ classmates loudly recited Old MacDonald Had a Farm. She maintained language fluency by creating a tune for the Hindi alphabet and composing Indian versions of poems like “Eensie Weensie Spider.†Diction provided her a cultural bridge, even when she compared Sanskrit and German. She shared copious English college notes with Korean graduate students. She studied psycholinguistics and playfully infused cultural links through the spoken and written word.
Sometimes there were challenges. Picture a bespectacled 15-year old girl in the 1970s with two long braids and a red dot, convincing her Papa that ‘the research literature’ confirms contact lenses are better for teenagers than glasses due to improved peripheral vision, hence better driving, and even fewer sports injuries (of course, with no reference to eye make-up).
This was life long before Google.
In all seriousness, for decades I oscillated between being American in India, and Indian in the US. Over time, fewer decisions were clouded by a cultural context and I chose ‘best practices’ in my daily adult life, regardless of their origin. I defined myself as “Indian American†(especially since Native Americans were still called American Indians then). There was no guidebook on how to be a successful and exemplary young Indian female professional entering the American workforce. I just did my best, starting with my first high school bakery job. Effective communication skills, core competence, and a collaborative spirit were necessary prerequisites in technical and management consulting. Whether I was teaching Shishu Bharati children or Harvard graduate students, mentoring young women or mid-career professionals, it was my commitment to excellence, not my nationality, that made the difference. No doubt music and community involvement played a central role in cultural retention, and I credit my parents for the sacrifices they made so I could chart my path to create the best of both worlds.
Can you describe your musical training?
Musical training integrates knowledge of sur (notes), lai (tempo), taal (rhythm), and bhav (expression). My mother, a classically-trained vocalist and tabla player, immersed us in the sur and taal of her bhajans and ragas at home. My elder sister added the lai and bhav of film songs, ghazals, qawwalis, geet, and English songs to our repertoire. The “Mathur Sisters†were a dynamic duo trained by Shri Byomkesh Banerjee of Springdales School in Delhi. When I attended Gandharva Mahavidyalaya as a college student, Pt. Vinay Chand Maudgalya refined my classical voice and urged me to create a unique style with bhav of my own. My father’s manjiras added lai and taal. At one point during my teenage years in the school chorus, I did choose Eastern over Western vocals, realizing the distinct style of voice training and presentation. I was fortunate to receive family and formal musical training from childhood through adulthood.
What motivated you to start ElderConnections?
I was actively involved in the care of my grandmother who came to the US at age 85 in 1990. When my mother suffered a stroke in 2002, I took the lead in her care with my father. I saw firsthand how their collective needs were growing as available resources were shrinking. Anecdotal examples of others’ experiences convinced me there are many committed individuals doing wonderful work, but connectivity and knowledge transfer needs to be accelerated. The conversation of how to bridge the generations to meet the needs of our elders could no longer continue just in my mind.
I realized we have a growing community of elders, whose care ranges from medical to transportation, from safer homes to less isolation and much more. Some of us – family and friends who have become de facto “caregivers†for those we love -- know what to do, however many don’t realize where to start. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t even have all the questions…but I do know we have the ability to help each other as a community. Let’s identify what we need to tackle first. I need your collective wisdom and there is no need for each family to reinvent infrastructure for eldercare.
This realization motivated me to start ElderConnections.
What are the major challenges your family has faced as you worked to take care of a mother who had a stroke?
With the debilitating nature of my mother’s stroke, we needed to address the daily challenges of her reduced mobility, safe transport up and down stairs, her lesser ability to feed and clothe herself, and her incapacity to take life-saving medications. She did not realize her level of disability, so she continued to offer to help in the kitchen and with household work. That put her at risk for burns, falls, and other safety hazards. As a family, we had to make deliberate changes to our work and professional life to provide support for my father, who was her primary caregiver for the first 5 years following her stroke. We redesigned our homes, decided against a nursing home option, and adapted to the financial implications of such choices. We worked with the Commonwealth, multiple agencies, and dozens of caregivers to ensure that she received the best assistance she could, at home. We provided training to handle the cultural aspects of her care, including meals. We learned how to work in an imperfect system. Her stroke had a tremendous impact on my father. We realized how important it was for the siblings to come together, align, and plan for the inevitable needs of not one, but both parents.
My mother took her final breath on November 18, 2013, shortly after the release of my Devotion CD on October 27, 2013. Her passing was peaceful, in her sleep, at home surrounded by the family she nurtured. She was finally free of the hypertension that caused her stroke and failed her kidneys.
How can people help with the ElderConnections cause?
We will convene a small workgroup in early 2014, identify core needs of the local elder community, and decide on the best medium to disseminate the information. Your ideas, skills, and enthusiasm will help us focus on these core issues.
We will need help with the following areas in 2014.
1. Identifying immediate and long-term needs in our community
2. Compiling and recognizing the eldercare work that is already underway
3. Creating a functional website to create a community of interested registrants
4. Organizing and participating in the launch of ElderConnections
5. Creating an organizational structure that is sustainable and meaningful
The larger intent of this vision is that it be a scaleable concept, regardless of geography. We welcome you to contact us at Eldercx1@gmail.com.
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