A Californian man has invented a robotic parking attendant. He's calling it at the Silicon Valet.

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A guy asked a passer-by: "What's the quickest way to York?"

"Are you walking or driving?"

"Driving."

"That's the quickest way."

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? - A pink car nation.

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When a man arrived home from work, his wife was waiting for him. She sat him down and told him she had good news and bad news about the car.

"Right," he said. "What's the good news?"

She said: "The air bag works."

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An actuary quoted an extremely low premium for an automobile "fire and theft" policy. When asked why it was so cheap, he said: "Who'd steal a burnt car?"

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A father was driving his son to school when he inadvertently made an illegal turn at some traffic lights. Realizing his mistake, he said:

"Oops, I just made an illegal turn."

"It's OK, Dad," said his son. "The police car behind us did the same thing."    

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One cab driver said to another: "Why have you got one side of your cab painted red and the other side painted blue?"

"Well, when I get in an accident, the police always believe my version of what happened, because all the witnesses contradict each other."

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