It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father.

“Let’s try to make this look natural," she said. “Junior, put your arm around your dad’s shoulder.”

The father answered, “If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?”

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Why was the headmaster worried?

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”

College Majors; Suppose you have a professor hold up two apples and asks a class “How many objects am I holding?” you would probably get different responses from different majors like….

Business: Two Juicy, delicious apples that are on sale at my store.

Chemistry: 6×10^30 apple molecules

History: You are holding dinosaur poop

Music: You are holding two objects that if you drop them you will get a D4

Education: Two Apples

Accounting: You are holding one apple because the other one has to go to the government as tax

Psychology: What objects?

Math: You are holding two sets of objects, that take up a finite amount of space called apples.

English: You are holding two lush pieces of fruit, that are nourishing and remind me of my dog Fido. Fido thy sweet fruit. So nourishing in my time of need, you fill me up with……

Art: Two apples (Ha, Ha…Thank goodness for photoshop. The perfect opportunity to take a picture of the professor and alter the picture so that I have a blackmail photo).

Computer Science: Two apples (I’ll take the art major’s picture and post it on my website for all to see, and add links so that people could find similar pictures (and I make $)).

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