Psychic Hotline
Psychic Hotline Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

Cannibal Child
What did the cannibal mum say to her son who was chasing a missionary?
''Stop playing with your food''!

Irishman in a Dhaba
A young Irish tourist walked into this dhhaba in Punjab one night and all of a sudden, everyone stopped, looked at him and started to smirk. One of the biggest, meanest looking guys stands up and shouts, "217". Well, the whole crowd broke out in maniacal laughter until one of the guys sitting behind him shouts, "136". At this, the Irish man, very confused, blushes and moves to the counter.
The rest of the people in dhhaba continued shouting numbers at him and laughing until some of them couldn't laugh any more. The young Irish says to the man behind the counter, "Why are they all shouting numbers at me and laughing?" The dhhaba owner replied, "Well, there are so many jokes about you Irish guys that we just use numbers to tell which one we mean. If you want, just stand there and shout a number..."
So the young Irish stands there and the whole dhhaba goes silent. At the top of his voice he screams "326". At this, everybody in the bar laughs so hard that they fall off their chairs and roll around on the floor. Completely baffled, the Irish turns to the visibly shaking dhhaba owner and asks why everyone was laughing so much. Between chuckles, the dhhaba owner replied, "They haven't heard that one before."

Time Difference John to a long distance telephone operator: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Las Vegas and Patna?"
Operator: "Just a minute Sir..."
John: "Thanks You!", puts the phone down.

Driving Blues
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five passengers - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Madam," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the driver says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, she grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Madam, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These people seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Said the driver.

Drinking Problem
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober" You Know Your Way Around

Short Sight
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

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