CLASSIC PUNS
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?'

The bartender replies, 'For you, no charge.'
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Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, 'Are you all right?' 'No, Ilost an electron.' 'Are you sure?' 'I'm positive.'

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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that ...

you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

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Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as ...

the lesser of two weevils.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw.'

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This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, 'I'll just have the eggs Benedict.' His order comes a while later and it's served on a huge, fancy chrome plate. He asks the waiter, 'What's with the fancy plate?' The waiter replies,

'There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.'

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