The jazz trio

A lady aboard a cruise ship was not impressed by the jazz trio in one of the shipboard restaurants. When her waiter came around, she asked, "Will they play anything I ask?"
"Of course!" replied the waiter.
"Then tell them to go play chess!"

Madam, your child...

On the beach a man appeals to a lady: "Madam, your child has dug my shirt in the sand!"
The woman doesn't pay any attention at all.
Man: "Madam, your child has dug my shirt in the sand!!!"
Lady: "It's not my child. My child is washing cherries in your cap".

This is my father...


The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.
"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.
"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week," replies the voice.
"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"
"We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice, "I hope it is all right."
"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who is calling?"
"Sure. This is my father!"

Family Vacation
A neighbor of mine took off with his family to see the country. When he returned, I asked how he enjoyed the vacation.
"Hugh," he replied, "have you ever spent 3 weeks in a mini-van with those you thought you loved?"

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