What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
 I'm bacon!

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On a cheerful summer holiday weekend, a man walks into the butcher shop that has a sign in the window saying "Ground Sirloin: 29 cents per pound."
"I'm having a cookout this weekend," the man says, "and I'd like 5 pounds of your ground sirloin, please."
The butcher shakes his head and says, "Sorry. I'm all out."
The disappointed man goes down the street to another butcher shop and asks, "How much is your ground sirloin?"
"It's $3.29 per pound."
"Three twenty nine?" exclaims the man. "Just up the street they are selling it for 29 cents!"
The butcher smiles calmly at the gentleman and asks, "Does he have any?"
"No. He's out of it right now."
"Well," says the butcher, "When I don't have any, I can also sell it for 19 cents per pound!"

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A couple are touring a graveyard when they spot a tombstone that reads "Here lies a politician and an honest man." The man says to the woman, "Look honey, there's two people in that grave."

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One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."


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A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining,
the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing,
and the lawn mower is broken.
~ James Dent

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