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Laugh A While - For Valentine's Day
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02/05/2009
A Little Nuts About Love
Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside stand that
sold fruit, vegetables and crafts. As I went to pay, I noticed the
young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. "Why the new sign?"
I asked. "My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said. When I
glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood. It declared:
"Local Honey Dates Nuts"
Sweet Nothings (.com)
My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I
introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met
over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick
me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, "I just used a regular 56K
modem."
Making the Grade
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but
hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes
of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the valentine season, I sent
her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed
inscription: "BE MINE." The following day, I received in return a
valentine from the teacher. It read: "Thank you, but it's still BE
MINE-US."
Devoted and Determined
During World War II my parents had planned a romantic Valentine's Day
wedding. Suddenly my father, then stationed at Camp Edwards in
Massachusetts, received orders to prepare to ship out, and all leaves
were canceled. Being a young man in love, he went AWOL. He and my
mother were married four days earlier than originally planned and he
returned to base to an angry sergeant. After hearing the explanation,
the sergeant understandingly replied, "Okay, okay!" Then, as an
afterthought: "But don't let it happen again!"
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