Golden call: 1000$ a minute

A man from the West, decided to write a book about holy places around the World. He started by flying to various holy places. Going to a very large place in USA, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$1000 a minute". Seeking out to a religious Guru he asked about the phone. The Guru answered that this golden phone was, in-fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God.

The man thanked the guru and continued on his way. As he continued to visit the holy places in Egypt, Israel, Iran, USA, Europe, Nepal, Japan, Australia and all around the world, he found more phones, with the same sign and price, and got the same answer from each Guru.

Finally, he arrived in Kerala. Upon entering a temple, behold, He saw the usual golden Telephone. But this time, the sign read "Calls: 1.26 Rupees/Minute" (which is less than 3 Cents). Fascinated, he asked the Guru. "Guru Ji, I have been to Places all across the World, and in each Place I have found this golden telephone and have been told it was a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other temples the cost was $1000 a minute. Your sign reads 1.26 Rupees/Minute. Why?

The Guru, smiling, replied, "Son, you're in Kerala now. This is God's Own country... and it's a local call"

Delta Airlines

At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding
announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address
system saying,

"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570
would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank
You for participating in Delta's physical fitness program.

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Wife: Honey...... What are you looking for?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour...??

Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

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A cop stops a drunkard and asks him:

cop: Where r you going?

Dru: I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism.

cop: At night? And who will give a lecture?

Dru: My wife and mother-in-law!

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