A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit.
She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids.
Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.
A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."


Following are some of the typical Indian English.....

An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: "Take an elephant of negligible weight"

Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal...and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape."

"Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body"

He/she's my cousin brother/sister.

"You three, both of you kneel down together separately"

"Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside"

"I have to put my child to sleep"

"Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. "

"Don't talk bad in front of my back "

Did you cut the ticket, yet?

The principal just passed away.

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

My cykill is understanding the tree.

Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in"!

"Open the doors of the window, and let the atmosphere come in "

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her."

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