The shy young curate had been enticed to play in the village team. Although he had never played before, he gave the first ball a resounding whack and sent it out of the ground. 'Run!' yelled his partner.
'Don't worry,' said the embarrassed curate, 'I'll buy you a new ball.'

***

The batsman said to the bowler, 'Give me an easy one, will you? I bet a fellow in the crowd five pounds that I'd score four runs.' The bowler did so and the batsman hit it to the boundary. Straight away, he
walked for the pavilion.
'You're not out,' said the bowler, 'Where are you going?'
The batsman yelled back: 'I'm going to find the chap who bet me!'

***

In the absence of their regular umpire, the village team was making do with a local farmer, who knew nothing of the rules. After the third ball of the over, the entire field turned round with a tremendous
yell of 'Owzat!' The umpire paused. 'Well, how would I know?' he said. 'His leg was in the way !'

***

'Can I have your autograph, mister?' asked the small boy, outside the pavilion. The famous cricketer tried to brush him off 'I'm not a cricketer,' he said. 'I know that,' said the boy, 'but I'd like it just the same !

Two onlookers were talking during the village match.
'The batsman was late for the first delivery,' observed one.
'He always is,' said the other. 'That's our milkman.'

***
An old timer was bemoaning the standard of the game and kept recalling the famous names of the past.
'You know,' he-said to one of the young men, 'if W.G. Grace were here today, he'd be regarded as a remarkable man.'
'You're right,' agreed the young man. 'He'd be a hundred and fifty years old !'

***

The boys were playing cricket in the garden and were using a shiny new ball.
'Where did you get the ball?' asked father.
'We found it.'
'Are you sure it was lost?'
'Of course it was lost. We saw them looking for it.'

***

The sarcastic bowler was disgusted by several of the umpire's decisions.
'Have you got a minute?' he asked.
'Yes,' said the umpire.
'Well, tell me all you know about cricket.'

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