From the moment of conception, parenting is demanding, exhilarating, exhausting and ennobling. It's all the more challenging when you are in a different country with a different lifestyle.

 

For instance, most of the Indian girls who live in the US feel a kind of insecurity from the day of conception since they don't have their parents or family for moral support. There are not enough people for them to celebrate such a happy occassion or  to take part in their happiness in the family other than the husbands. In India, women generally stay with their moms during pregnancy and until the time of delivery, as moms can understand the feelings of a daughter better than any relation could especially at this point of their life. Most of the Indian families give a very happy environment for the pregnant women by celebrating the happy occassion by inviting huge number of friends and relatives, offering them the food which women crave for, during this time of pregnancy and by having a traditional baby shower offering colourful glass bangles and so on. Since Indian women who come here to the United States for their husband's work, miss their family and feel left alone all of a sudden amidst unknown people, they start feeling a kind of insecurity and start vaguely worrying about everything all the more during pregnancy. It would help them to come out this sense of insecurity and fear if they read more about the issues that bother them from the day of conception. Interacting with friends and their doctors would be a better option too.

 

The most demanding thing for any parent would be feeding a child as their taste keep changing every feed. Even now I have a hard time feeding my 6 year old as when I give her the Indian food, she would prefer Pizza or something else to eat, not everytime what I make. Making them eat sometimes become frustrating too. Hence, I console myself with the nutrition value of the food she takes per day rather than worrying about the quantity or variety of the food she consumes. 

  

There is a lot of responsibility for us as parents to build a healthy parent - child bond. We have to always treat them with respect and dignity instead of showing our anger while controlling them. I believe some children start maintaining a distance from their parents when they are controlled too much.  It's better to have a lonely time with your children to talk to them about the right ways. It's more important that we don't give up as we can't expect changes in them at the first instance. As parents we have to always give them the warmth,  a feeling of security by always hugging them to say "I'm there for you my dear."

  

It's this feeling of security and bond which you develop with your child, which is going to help you deal with their teenage problems . Each and every child is unique.Identifying the best qualities of a child and helping them mould it would be the best part of parenting..When the parent - child bond is given a strong base in childhood, then the children treat us like friends in their teenage willing to share their feelings and emotions with us which in turn is going to solve their problems easily.

 

Unlike childhood, the teenager's emotional and behavioural responses are determined by the environment they are brought up in. You cannot impose your thoughts anymore nor do they remain passive. I still remember, when I was a teenager, back in India my mom used to get mad at me if I  talk to boys even if they are my classmates. The same rule, if I am going to have for my daughter living in USA, won't it sound absurd to her? But I wouldn't tell her When you are in America be an American. I would still want her to have the Indian base values which I started imparting to her right now as I believe if you want to do something good do it right now.

 

Beauty, intelligence and money are the three attributes valued highly in our society. When the teenagers discover they lack in any of these, they begin sliding down in despair. This causes them to develop a vicious circle around them. The parents have to help such teens to come out of their illusions by bringing the best out of them. Parents have to help them focus on their stronger side to become successful.

 

Teaching the children good and the bad using the healthy parent - child bond as the weapon would drive them more closer to the parents. Your child in teen has not experienced the good or bad of life for him or her to realize or rationalize the truth in your saying. Give them the incidents from your life, be a friend, share and care for them, teach them the power of positive thinking, give them the chances --- they will grow.

 

Parents should also bear in mind that a happy environment in the family - a very good understanding between the mother and the father - helps the children grow in a very happy and healthy way. I believe, as children are responsive to the parents' feelings, love, peace and harmony are inevitable criterions at home. 

 

To sum up, parenting is a bliss if we love doing it. Children always bring out the best in us as much we do to them.Like a clay, we should mould them beautifully without the bad influence from us or thru the society they live

in and we would only be successful if we don't give up frustrated in the middle if the clay doesn't fit into the mouldwhen you want to give it a shape. Keep trying !! It is indeed a life time experience, learning and fun to watch our

children grow.