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Random Jokes

a compilation
05/03/2006

No wonder English is so hard to learn:

  1. We polish the Polish furniture.
  2. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
  3. A farm can produce produce.
  4. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
  5. The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
  6. The present is a good time to present the present.
  7. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
  8. The dove dove into the bushes.
  9. I did not object to the object.
  10. The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
  11. The bandage was wound around the wound.
  12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
  13. They were too close to the door to close it.
  14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
  15. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
  16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
  17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
  18. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
  19. I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
  20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
  21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
  22. I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt

The following are only learned in College

  1. Quarters are like gold.
  2. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
  3. Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)
  4. Going to the mailbox is an ego booster.
  5. Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.
  6. E-mail becomes your second language.
  7. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend.
  8. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
  9. Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
  10. Anything that is free tastes better.



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