Dear Father,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply �an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
'The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time.'
He continued, 'Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?'
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
'How much for a season pass?'

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the test, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study.
The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.
Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.
As each sat down, they read the first question. 'For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom.' At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease.
Then, the test continued... 'For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was.'

A Mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning.
'Nobody in school likes me,' he complained.
'The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go to school.'
'But, John, you have to go to school,' said her mother sternly. 'You're healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer others, you are a leader. And besides, you're 40 years old and YOU'RE THE PRINCIPAL.'

Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.

Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

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