I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore  I'm perfect.

If I save time, when do I get it back?

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who is left.

 Best way to prevent a hangover is to stay drunk.

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but if your father-in-law is a poor man , it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent ...education ruined me.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation...

What more can I say!

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Living on Earth may be expensive...but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun....!

Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep!

ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY .

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop!

A drunk was hauled into court.
"Mister", the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking...."
"Great," the drunk exclaimed.

“When do we get started?”

Can you do anything that other people can't?

Sure, I can read my handwriting...!

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