‘Incest’ a forbidden word in many South Asian Communities that is often spoken in whispers or on the sly found a powerful and loud voice at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology when two local non profits AASRA and Asha-MIT jointly hosted a documentary and a panel discussion on the subject on November 6^th, 2004.

Tilted ‘Incest: Out of the shadows and into the light’ the afternoon started with the screening of the documentary by Grace Poore “The children we sacrifice” that depicted incest survivors and their poignant and moving stories. Poore, herself a victim of this abuse produced the video to advocate for an end to violence against women and girls. The documentary has been released in India, Sri Lanka, the US and Canada with the help of community workshops.

Archana Vahalia, Board Member AASRA introduced the panelists and commented that her chief purpose for initiating this event was to create awareness, “Someone has to start, somewhere” she said, “and I hope that each one of you here will be a beacon of hope”.

Anjali Bhatia of Asha MIT said that Asha has direct access to a lot of projects in India and always believed that a holistic approach to education can lead to success “As such it is important to address such issues for a child’s overall well being” she said. “It helps to know what we can do to protect a child from such instances” she said.

Panelists offered their interpretation of the documentary and ways to combat this through their respective expertise. Attorney William E. Fallon, Career Prosecutor and former Chief of the Essex County District Attorney’s Office energized the audience with citing some cases that were handled by him of sexual abuse and called the problem complex.

 “Molestation is an intimate kind of violation” he said, “If your child comes home and says that ….. is abusing her, your head tells it happened, but the heart tells us never be involved”. He said that abuse can happen in any community and not necessarily the South Asian community and that the movie can be shown to a larger audience than intended.

Neha Lall, a clinical Teaching Fellow and Supervising Attorney in the North Eastern University School of Law Domestic violence Clinic agreed that it is indeed complex. “Family and home sometimes can be a far more dangerous place” she said “Mothers are protectors of children but if there are no resources than cutting off family relationships can be murky”. She also said that although legal help can be sought, it can punish the abuser but cannot heal the victim.

Romana Mohiuddin, who spent 8 years teaching in inner cities, said that children can sometimes display symptoms at school that can point to distress at home. She said that the extended family and the cultural implication where members rely on one other can sometimes lead to a misguided notion about trust, faith and support.

Christine Walsh, editor of New England News, said such documentaries will help bring attention to the issue and the media can play a major role in highlighting such causes. She said her stint in working with the community for more than 2 ½ years has introduced her to this concept of respect for elders that can be taken advantage off by some people. She cited the example of a grandmother in the film sending her reluctant grandchild to the abuser who happens to be her uncle and unknowingly being a participant in the abuse.

Dr Sukanya Ray, Psychology faculty member at Suffolk University and a clinical Psychology fellow in the Department of Psychiatry at Cambridge Health Alliance appreciated the groups for addressing the issue and said victims of abuse feel a sense of confusion and guilt at various levels. Many South Asians families are very conscious of their ‘Status” in Society and this often have led to the denial of such abuse. According to her, ‘Empowerment and support” would go a long way to heal these victims rather than just the legal way.

Summing up the discussion, the pointers that emerged were as follows:

• Early intervention is important
• Getting the word out as much as possible through media, Community workshops etc
• Telling is Liberating
• Victim is not alone. Shame and Guilt should not be the issue.
• Educating our children by talking about such things in a normal course of conversation is important
• Difference between good and bad touching can be explained
• Provide legal, counseling and other resources to the victim and the family

Although participants were few, there emerged a powerful and emotional discussion. Evidently the topic was distressing and disturbing enough to generate such a response.

The two organizations must be commended for tackling such a difficult and sensitive topic that often gets ignored and unacknowledged in the community.

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