1. A lesson we should all learn...

Arguing with your Boss is like

wrestling with a pig in mud.

After a while you realize that

while you are getting dirty,

the pig is actually enjoying it.

2.. Help a man when he is in trouble and

he will remember you

when he is in trouble again.

3. Behind every successful woman,

is a man who is surprised.

4. Whoever said money can't buy happiness,

didn't know where to shop.

5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,

but then again, neither does milk.

6. Most people are only alive because

it is illegal to shoot them.

I'm not a complete idiot,

there're still some parts missing!

Forgive your enemies but

remember their names

The number of people watching you

is directly proportional to the

stupidity of your action.

Some pain is physical

and some is mental,

but one that's both is

dental.

Said Rita Rudner

# I rationalize shop. I think a lot of women do that. Like, I buy a dress because I need change for gum.
# I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
# I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
# I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
# I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
# I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
# I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

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