Want to make three hours seem like ten? Want to see Ash Rai and Vivek taking coy-ness to a height hitherto unscaled? Take a chance, then, on Samir Karnik ‘s ‘Kyun Ho Gaya na?’

Ash has never seemed so out of it and pathetic, she tries too hard to breathe life into her character and falls flat on her face! Somehow, she seems too mature and long in the tooth to be playing the brainless character that she is in KHGN. Vivek Oberoi is precious less than adequate. While watching the two lovebirds (in real and reel life) flounder, one ends up yearning for a slightly lesser cutesy wutesy couple, like say Adolf and Eva?

The sorry tale goes as follow – Diya (Rai) and Arjun (Oberoi) are offspring of dear old friends, Tinnu Anand (cast as Rai’s dad, I for one, loved the irony!) and Rati Agnihotri and Om Puri (teeth-on-edge irritating, the both of them as Oberoi’s parents). Diya comes up to Bombay, meets Arjun and the two indulge in romantic banter.

Things happen (yaaaawn) and Diya, all in a huff, returns to a picturesque Coorg, convinced that Arjun does not love her. In Coorg, she works with, get this…a kind and eccentric old man( Bacchan) who runs an orphanage for the most irritating plump and cute kids.

Rai and Bacchan get coy, the kids get cuter, then Sunil Shetty pops up in between to flex his muscles and mumble things unintelligently and mouth innuendos you don’t want to care about!

In the end something magical happens and the film ends. Hallelujah! All I gathered was that Amitabh was transformed into a Moose while watching the first of the presidential debate and Rai and Oberoi were left wondering why KHGN had flopped so miserably at the Box Office.

Before I forget, there also are songs, eminently unhummable peppered throughout the film. Thank, guys (Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy)

Om Puri, I hope, is searching for that chullu bhar pani….

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