Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

"Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“To.”

“To who?”

“Actually, it’s to whom.”

Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?

A: They’re too possessive

Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

A: Subordinate clauses

Q: Which dinosaur knows the most words?

A: A Thesaurus

Q: Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”

I said, “Who, me?”