Sometime during the month of March, my physical spine wakes up and reminds me that I have to lose 15 pounds, fast and quick. The reason - I soon have to make my annual trip or should I say pilgrimage to India and looking slim and beautiful to everyone out there is my primary motive. I assure myself that I have April, May, June and 15 days of July to tuck in my body beautiful before I board my flight, time enough to knock those extra tires and the fat accumulated that are always in tug of war with me. Challenging me and saying, we are an essential part of you. How could you be so mean to let us go ?

So what do I do? my dear friends, Yank myself out of bed and head to the nearest gym. No way ! It ain’t gonna happen. Do I reach out for the delectable apple instead of the loaded cookie or even my favorite veggie burger. Not a chance. In short I am in short dose of what I call willpower. Some people are blessed with this phenomena. Not me. This lethargic feeling starts sometime in November from Thanksgiving time. While the world celebrates for the food on the table, I celebrate with the food in my stomach tucked away with guileless glee and merry making. By December I am a party’s putty. In my family we have celebrations every week, since we all had the bright idea of coming into this world in this wondrous month. By January my soul needs the equivalent of a visit to the spa and a stylish hairdo. I am bummed out totally and I am perplexed as to why my body refuses to get out of this cauldron.

I have now formed my own definition of exercise. While others define it as being fit and healthy, mine has acquired undertones that might fit in a dictionary of Inertia or terms of that nature. I have heard this before and here it goes. Exercise to me is dodging the issue, dragging my feet, throwing my weight around, pushing my kids to their limits, beating round the bush, passing the buck, wading through excuses, running and stretching my imagination.

These days I have this new buzz that rings in my head ‘Need to do, need to do, need to do’ almost like an ad jingle. But do I listen to my inner voice .No buddy no! A walk invitation from a close friend elicits a standard response. “I need to get this done soon. Yaar! Sorry I can’t come. Invite me the next time you go out Mujhe bhoolna nahi.” And yet when the same good friend (God bless her) calls me to join her for shopping at the nearby mall or the Indian grocery store I am all ready to go like a charged battery. Reason, I can actually delve in at the candy factory or even pop a few Samosas or aalu bonda in my mouth from the loaded aluminium trays that are invitingly placed at the counter of the Desi shopper. Tempting isn’t it.

But the old adage that I live to eat, not eat to live has been strongly ingrained in me. Can any of you shed weight on any other adage that makes more sense than this. I meant metaphorically of course not literally. So when anyone approaches me with this new one liner of “I lost 10 pounds in three weeks,” I turn my head to them and say “Oh really! how wonderful, which three weeks are you talking about.” Or something like “I can now fit into these pants that were presented to me by my mother in law.” I am out with a reply “My mother in law thinks I look great in saris” and so on.

The other day I was at the Museum of Science chaperoning bravely for a field trip for my son’s class and the most exciting exhibit to me was the gigantic weighing scale that screamed ‘what will be your weight on the moon.’ To tell you truly folks, I did not want to move away from there. What flattering numbers ! I wished I could record them in my heart, my soul and of course you guessed it right, my body. If you’ve been to the Museum of Science in Boston, you will also recall that there is a corresponding weighing scale on the other end in Jupiter, is it, I think. I am not sure, since I never been there. Jupiter, the planet you see has never held such fascination to me.

So my slim fast story is interminable. It sometimes also means eat fast, walk slow and slimmo. This is my new prayer to God. God give me the energy to climb mountains but don’t deny me my daily bagels with garden cheese, give me the strength to uphold truth but don’t deny me my pakodas and puris, and bless my family with loads and loads of happiness coupled with some rasagollas. So thank you lord.

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