What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?Patty!

 Which bird has the worst manners?

Mocking birds.

 What language do pigs speak?

Swine language.

 Where to spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meat ball.

 How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

 Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll.

 What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, bud!

How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?

Ten tickles.

 Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Because he’s a pain in the neck.

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look flushed.

 My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, “Just you wait!”

 I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me

 What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

What do you call a pile of kittens?

A meowntain.

 Is this pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

Why were they called the Dark Ages?

Because there were lots of knights.

 Two goldfish are in a tank.

One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

 What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel.

 Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

The don’t meet the koalafications.

|