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Stephen Friedfeld, Ph.D. 02/06/2020 If
your child is applying to college, there is no doubt a lot of excitement (and
other emotions!) in your home. You may be excited for your son or daughter to
experience the world on his or her own next year, to learn from a great college
or university. Or you may be excited that your child will have an opportunity
that perhaps you did not get to experience when you were younger. While it is
perfectly normal to be interested and involved during your child’s admissions
process, some parents cross the line and create unnecessary stress for their
youngster who is already experiencing a ton of it. Everyone
has heard the horror stories of overbearing parents trying to take the reins on
their children’s futures. These are the parents that admissions officers, teachers,
and school counselors get to know on a first name basis. It may seem like these
stories are baseless, but this happens in every high school, every year.
Remember that college is an experience that your child will have on his or her
own; you won’t be making them dinner, you won’t be making their bed, and you
surely won’t be making their day-to-day decisions. The application process is
meant for students to learn about themselves and to tell admissions officers
about their academic interests, their
passions, their future — not your
academic interests or passions or future. Parents
today are very invested in where their child goes to school, and rightfully so,
as many of them will be paying for the vast majority of tuition costs. But
recent studies suggest that intense parents can cause heightened levels of
depression in their children during college application season. Be supportive
but not too forceful with your children’s decisions. It is totally fine for
them to go to a school that isn’t your alma
mater. Perhaps they want to create a new network for themselves and become
their own individuals. High
school students today have enough to worry about. Between high school
academics, athletics, hobbies, jobs, community service, and college
preparation, they do not need any undue stress. Try to let your child make the
application process his or her own. With
the application season getting into full swing, remember how much you love your
son or daughter and how much it would hurt them if you put too much weight on
their shoulders regarding college selection. The final decision and the
experience should always be up to them, and they will thank you for that
freedom in the long run. Stephen has 10+ years of admissions
experience at Cornell University and Princeton University. He is a founder at
AcceptU, an admissions counseling group comprised entirely of former admissions
officers from highly selective colleges and universities. For questions or to
learn more about AcceptU, contact Stephen (stephen@acceptu.com,
617-424-0700) or visit www.AcceptU.com. ![]() You may also access this article through our web-site http://www.lokvani.com/ |
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