Little Joey is helping his grandfather dig up potatoes. 'What I want to know,' he says, 'is why you buried the darn things in the first place.'

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The elementary school cook prided herself on the healthy meals she provided with lots of vegetables and fruits. When the power failed one day, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. As one little boy filled his plate, he said, "It's about time. At last, a home-cooked meal!"

It Never Rains....
The manager of the garden centre overhears one of his nurserymen talking to a customer.

'No, we haven't had any of that in ages,' says the nurseryman. 'And I don't know when we'll be getting any more.'

The customer leaves and the manager walks over to give him a telling off. 'Never tell a customer we can't get them something,' he says. 'Whatever they want we can always get it on order and deliver it. D'you understand?'

The nurseryman nods. 'So what did he want?' asks the manager. 
'Rain,' replies the nurseryman.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? 
A: A rash of good luck.

Q: Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover? 
A: You might press your luck.

Q: What do you call a mushroom who buys everyone drinks and is the life of the party? 
A: A fun-gi.

Q: What insect is musical? 
A: A humbug.

Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world? 
A: Global Worming.

Q: Everyone knows how the Green Giant dresses when he works in the field. But when he goes to a corporate board meeting, what does he usually wear? 
A: A three peas suit

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