One night a wife saw her husband standing over the baby's crib.

She stood watching him silently, he looked down with mixed emotions, disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism.

She slipped her arm around him, "Penny for your thoughts?" she whispered.

"It's amazing, how can they make a crib like that for $49.99?"

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Tom and Bob are framing a house, Bob notices Tom throwing away about every second nail,

" What are you doing?" he asks.

" The heads are on the wrong end," Tom replies.

" You idiot, save them for the other side," Bob retorts.

A duck waddles into a grocery store and asks, " Got any duck food?"

" Don't carry any," replies the clerk.

Next day the duck waddles in again and asks, " Got any duck food?"

" I told you yesterday, we don't carry it." the clerk says.

Duck waddles on the third day and asks, " Got any duck food?"

" Look I told you we don't carry it, and if you come in again I'm going to nail your web feet to the floor!" the clerk shouts.

Fourth day the duck waddles in, " Got any nails ?"

" No we don't have any nails," the clerk answers, " We are a grocery store."

" Good, got any duck food?"

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