Jack, an older gentleman woodworker, feared his wife, Becky, was getting hard of hearing.

So one day Jack called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and said that meanwhile there's a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

Here's what you do, said the Doctor, "Start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room. He thinks to himself that he is about 40 feet away. "Let's see what happens," he mutters.

Then in a normal tone he asks, ''Honey, what's for supper?" No response. So Jack moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from Becky and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from Becky and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?"

Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"

Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.

"Honey, what's for supper?"

She replies, "For God's sake, Jack! For the FIFTH TIME. CHICKEN!

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Buford walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. 
Buford said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. 

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Buford to wait in the examining room. 

A half-hour later a nurse came in and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." So she gave Buford a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told Buford to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. 

An hour later the doctor came in and asked Buford what he had. Buford said, "Shingles." 
The doctor said, Where?" Buford said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want 'em?"

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