What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It's a pain in the neck.

What are ghosts' favourite streets?

Dead ends.

Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?

Because people are dying to get in.

What is Dracula's favourite restaurant?

Murder King

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To go the body shop.

Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?

Because he came to pick up his sister.

The maker does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it - what is it?

A coffin.

Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the boos.

Who are some of the were-wolves cousins?

The what-wolves and the when-wolves.

What happens when two vampires meet?

It's love at first bite.

What is a Mummy's favourite type of music?

Wrap!!!

What did the skeleton say to the vampire?

You suck

What do you get if you cross a snowman with Dracula?

Frostbite

What did the bird say on Halloween?

Tick or tweet!

How do witches tell the time?

With their witch watches

What do you get if you cross a black cat with a lemon?

A sour puss

What do skeletons say before a meal?

Bone appetit!

Why didnt the skeleton go to the disco?

Because he had no body to go with!

Where do ghosts go to get drunk?

Anywhere that they can get sheet-faced!