I’ve been thinking… (Yes, it’s known to have happened from time to time!) As a matter of fact, it has come to a point that the modern society is experiencing a real predicament these days. The problem is so extensive that it can almost be considered as a "cancer growing on the presidency (Wait! That was a cancer growing on Watergate, sorry!), I mean, a cancer growing on the modern society!" And you wonder what the problem is? Well, the problem, my friends, is that we always worry about how to bell the cat. We seem to be constantly preoccupied with such a dilemma. We seem to waste a whole bunch of productive time worrying about such a simple and mundane activity.

So what happens as a consequence? We worry about it during the day when we are at work. Then we worry about it while driving back home from work. That's why we get on our cell phones as soon as we get into our cars and call all our friends and relatives and colleagues to ask them their opinion on how to accomplish this delicate task. We ponder before dinner. Then, soon after dinner, we ponder a little more. We ponder so much so that we lose a lot of sleep over it! Sometimes we even think that it may not be such a bad idea to go to Ponderosa for our dinner, since it provides the right atmosphere for pondering. We sit near the bathtub refusing to go in, because we are ‘immersed’ in thought. And then finally, when someone pushes us in (mostly our spouse; that's their job!) after the water has become cold, we nonetheless take a bath with the hope that we could jump out of the tub shouting "Eureka!" or something Greek and stupid like that, and run all over the house in our birthday suits. But as we all know, what really happens is usually the opposite. No eureka, no running around in the nude, no Archemedes anywhere to be found..., no nothing!

So what are we to do? I think it's worthwhile to spend some time thinking about it. I strongly believe it will be a smart investment of our time and resources. We need to have a plan. We need to plan our work and work our plan, how does that sound?! We need to ask ourselves certain questions. First of all, what kind of bell should we use? Electric Bell, Digital Bell, Analog Bell, Bicycle Bell, Graham Bell, Belly Graham, Belly Ocean…, what? How about bells and whistles? Or even the proverbial “Saved-by-the-Bell”? And while we are at it, let's not forget the Liberty Bell, forgetting which could be misconstrued as unpatriotic.

Let's say we decide to go digital, since it is easier to get spare parts for digital stuff these days. Plus, digital felines are easier to maintain as compared to the analog variety. Since the problem concerns a special kind of critters such as the cats, we also need to approach the problem rather delicately. We definitely don't want to antagonize the cat-lovers amongst us. I think the first thing to do would be to present the cat with an opportunity for excellence. The best way to achieve that would be to starve the animal (put it on a diet, for the cat-lover people) for three full days (It should also save us some Purina money!), so that on the fourth day, the cat would, albeit reluctantly, slowly step out of its litter box and try to catch a mouse or two (mice?). That will also teach the little rascal the most important socioeconomic lesson that there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch (TANSTAAFL) in this animal kingdom. In the meantime (i.e., when the time is really mean, and the cat isn't home), we must be ready with the bell and the right length of rope for the cat. Remember, the length of the rope may vary depending upon the individual cat. Fat Cats would naturally require fat ropes and shorter lengths and/or vice-versa, while the average garden variety cats would only require medium size. We patiently wait around behind the front door for the cat to arrive. When the cat finally returns home with the mouse, all we need to do is to say “surprise” in unison, and do a left click on the mouse, and that'll be the end of that! Everything will be over in a split second. Log yourself out and reboot, and everything will be like new. The dog (well, cat, if you want to be picky) won't even know that it has been belled, just like the mouse will never find out that it has been clicked.

Now we know! And all that pondering was for nothing!...

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