"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes.  And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
-  Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel  

 Why do potatoes make good detectives?

Because they keep their eyes peeled.

 My wife's a water sign.  I'm an earth sign. 

Together we make mud. 
-  Rodney Dangerfield

 What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? - Pumpkin pi.

 How do you lead a horse to water?

With lots of carrots.

Why do cowboys always die with their boots on? 
So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.

 What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato. 

 "A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows."

-  Doug Larson

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