Physics

Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. I know where we are."

"Where are we then?" 

"Do you see that mountain over there?" 

"Yes." 

"Well… THAT'S where we are."

An electron and a positron go into a bar.

Positron: "You're round."

Electron: "Are you sure?"

Positron: "I'm positive."

A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"

They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.