Recently someone nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in,evading security, getting out, and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a foolish error, he replied, "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the VanGogh."
Two men contracted to paint a small community church. Being very frugal(cheap), they pinched and scraped to spend the absolute minimum on materials. Then, when they were only partway through the job, they determined that they did not, after all, have enough paint to complete thejob. Not wishing to spend any more money if they didn't absolutely have to,they decided they would just dilute the water-based paint they were using sothat it would last longer. They did this a couple more times before theyfinished, which caused striping on the church as the paint got lighter eachtime it was thinned. The painters had just about gotten to the top of thesteeple, when, all of a sudden, the sky darkened, and the rain started topour down. As the paint streamed down the sides of the church, a voiceboomed from the heavens: "Repaint, you thinners! Repaint, and thin no more!"
Q: Why did Van Gogh become a painter?
A: Because he didn't have an ear for music.
Q: Did you hear about the artist who died?
A: Too many strokes.
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