Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

1. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

2. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." .

3. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

4. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

5. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

6. Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering.

7. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust."

8. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

9. Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

10. A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said to her,"I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said. "God, I wish I had your will power."

11. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

12. A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

13. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

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