There's a lazy man who never really helps out around the house. One day his wife gets fed up with him never helping and that the house hasn't been painted in years. Not wanting to start an argument, the man agrees to paint the house over the weekend.

That Saturday he goes to the hardware store and is shocked by how much the paint costs. But he sees paint thinner for a lot cheaper right next to it, and so he asks one of the sales clerks if he could just mix paint with paint thinner and get more for his money, and the clerk says it should work. So he buys one can of paint and 10 cans of paint thinner and leaves the store wondering why nobody else has ever thought of this.

He goes home and mixes up the paint and paint thinner and starts painting the house. When he finishes, he stands back to admire his handiwork--and he realizes to his horror that paint has gotten everywhere: on the bushes, the grass, the neighbors' new car in their driveway, everywhere. He's horrified and he knows his neighbor's going to kill him and his wife will be so disappointed and so, not knowing what else to do, he gets down on his knees and says "God, oh God, what can I do to fix this mess?"

And a booming voice emanates from the heavens: "REPAINT, AND THIN NO MORE"

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Q: Why did Van Gogh become a painter? 

A: Because he didn't have an ear for music.

Q: Did you hear about the artist who died?

A: Too many strokes.

Q: Where does a cow hang his paintings?

A: In a mooooseum. 

Q: What did the painter say to the wall? 

A: One more crack like that and I'll plaster ya. 

Q: Did you hear about the artist who paints in jail?

A: He had a brush with the law.

Q: What did Michelangelo say to the ceiling?

A: I got you covered.

Q: Why did the painter butter his toast with his fingers? 

A: To feel its texture.

Q: What do you call a mixed media artist without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless

Q: How does Salvador Dali start his mornings?
A: With a bowl of "Surreal"

Q: What did the artist say to the rival?
A: I Challenge you a doodle! 

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