The jazz trio

A lady aboard a cruise ship was not impressed by the jazz trio in one of the shipboard restaurants. When her waiter came around, she asked, "Will they play anything I ask?"

"Of course!" replied the waiter.

"Then tell them to go play chess!"

Madam, your child...

On the beach a man appeals to a lady: "Madam, your child has dug my shirt in the sand!"

The woman doesn't pay any attention at all.

Ticket for Norwald

Man to Ticket Agent: “I want to buy a plane ticket for Norwald... for a vacation, you know...!”

Ticket Agent, searching book: "Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald anyway?"

Man: “Over there. He's my brother!”

For his vacation on the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Noo," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

A can of beans

Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore.

The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens."

The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job."

Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".