Tom and Dick are building a house when Tom sees Dick going through a bag of nails. He looks at each nail in turn and some he puts into a box and others he throws into a bin. ‘Why are you throwing those nails away?’ asks Tom. ‘Because they’re pointed at the wrong end,’ says Dick. ‘You idiot,’ replies Tom. ‘Those nails are for the other side of the house.’
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Two men on a building site are arguing about who’s the strongest. One says to the other, ‘I bet you a week’s wages I can haul a load in this wheelbarrow that you’d never be able to lift off the ground.’ ‘Okay,’ says the second man. ‘You’re on.’ The first man grabs the handles of the barrow and says, ‘Right. Hop in.’
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A man shows up late for work. His boss yells, "You should have been here at 8.30!" The man replies, "Why? What happened at 8.30?
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An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch. ‘The parrot on the left costs £500,’ says the owner. ‘Why does that parrot cost so much?’ asks the accountant. ‘It knows how to do complex audits,’ says the shop owner. ‘How much does the middle parrot cost?’ asks the accountant. ‘That one costs £1,000,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘It can do everything the first one can, plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.’ The accountant asks about the third parrot. It costs £4,000. ‘So what can that one do?’ he asks. ‘To be honest,’ says the shop owner, ‘I’ve never seen him do anything. But the other two call him Senior Partner.’
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